


Calendar Girl

by sunsetsandsmokebombs



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:53:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23895613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetsandsmokebombs/pseuds/sunsetsandsmokebombs
Summary: Harley's blossoming relationship with Ivy takes jumps and dives over the course of her favorite holidays.
Relationships: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel
Comments: 13
Kudos: 98





	Calendar Girl

**Author's Note:**

> probably should have put this up when i published it but tw: mentions of abuse
> 
> also! I'm fawning over the fact that i was actually able to write and publish a fanfiction. i havent had that kinda focus in YEARS. hope ya enjoy <3

**HALLOWEEN**

"I can't believe it ran up on us like this!"

"Uh huh."

"Didja even know today was the day?! Like it _just_ dawned on me before I called ya!"

"No idea."

"What are we gonna wear?! It's too late to get costumes, isn't it?! I usually have this planned weeks in advance! Halloween is like, my _favorite_ holiday. Besides Christmas and Valentine's Day and April Fool's and President's Day."

"April Fool's is _still_ your favorite even after what _he_ did last time? Wait, why President's Day?"

Harley groaned. "You're changing the subject! What are we gonna do? My holiday is ruined! We don't have costumes! You can't just... go to a Halloween party without costumes!"

"Shame."

There was a pause. "Um, Ive, sorry, ya broke up for a sec. Wifi ain't so good here at the ol' lair," Harley glanced to her right, shuddering at a loud _POP_ noise followed by a thud. Sounded like some goon had upset Mr. J again. "What were ya sayin'?"

Ivy sighed. She really hated holidays. Almost every one is a man-made construct designed to fuel capitalist society, only continuing to doom the green. But... Harley loved them. "Ah. I said it's a shame about the costumes. Looks like we're just gonna have to do something else." Harley could tell that Ivy was clearly heartbroken about all of this.

"Don't worry, Ive! There's a Party City super close to us! I am NOT gonna let you down!" She gave a salute that was barely visible through the facetime camera because it was already so close to her face.

"Harls, I don't think that'll be neces..."

"Nonsense!" Harley cut her off. "You're real good at being modest and keeping ya emotions in check, Ive. I appreciate that aboutcha. But I know this would devastate ya. I have everything undah control!" She picked up her phone and started briskly walking towards the coat rack. "So whaddya think! Maybe we could dress up as inmates?"

"No."

"You're right, way too on the nose. What was I even thinkin'... Cops, then? Flip the script? Or how about zookeepers? Wait, are you against those?"

"Harley. Are you even free tonight? Doesn't your psycho squeeze usually do something dumb and over-the-top on Halloween?"

Harley chewed her bottom lip for a second, before staring directly into Ivy's eyes through the screen. "Mr. J is gonna rob some bank... he made a menchin about it this mornin', but he hasn't really talked about it sense, so I don't think he even needs me fer it," Harley shrugged and grinned. "Plus, what are the chances I'd miss out on takin' my supah hot bestie to a costume party at the Iceberg Lounge!"

Ivy's chest tightened for the briefest of moments. Why did Harley have to be such a tease? "Okay, Harls. Surprise me. Find some costumes and I'll tag along."

"Awesome! Let's get nuts!" Harley squealed with excitement.

"Just make sure the costumes aren't tacky or unbecoming," Ivy added.

"Gee, Red, who do ya think I am? Like I'd get some janky-ass costumes for our queen selves," Harley rolled her eyes.

"You're about to buy costumes from _Party City_ , Harleen. I'm pretty sure janky-ass costumes are their MO," Ivy said in a condescending tone.

 _Oh great, the 'Harleen' card. Why does she feel the need to get all lecture-y and motherly?_ Harley forced a very expressive eye roll, much less natural than the last one."Pfft. I'm not an idiot, Red. I'm not gonna _pay_ for the costumes... I ain't _that_ stupid," Harley muttered the last part quietly.

"You're not stupid at all, Harley. You're a _doctor_ for crying out loud," Ivy reminded her, ever so frustrated with Harley's constant self-dismissal.

"Right! I am!" Harley was grinning with newfound confidence. She thought for a moment, then gasped. "An' you are too!"

Ivy raised her eyebrows. "Right... Don't -"

"Oh my god, I have the PERFECT idea!" Harley hung up before Ivy could say anything else. If she was on the phone any longer, she would risk giving away the surprise! Ivy said she wanted to be surprised. She knew how much Ivy loved surprises. Harley was gonna blow her mind. She grabbed her keys and dashed outside, welcoming the cool October breeze. This Halloween was gonna rock.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

It was about a half hour after their phone call that Ivy heard a horn honking without relief outside her safe house. She sighed and stepped outside to see Dr. Harleen Quinzel stepping out of her car. " _Helllllllooooooo_ , Dr. Isley!" She had wiped her face paint off, and tied up her usually tie-dyed pigtails into a neat, blonde bun. She looked just as breathtaking as she did the day they met at Arkham all those years ago.

_All friendships have a strong foundation of trust._

Ivy was almost too busy reminiscing to see that Harley had flung a flowing pristine white lab coat in her direction. Almost. She caught it and let out a laugh. "Wowww, Harley. I did _not_ see this coming."

"See?! I'm the best at surprises!" She beamed. Ivy examined the lab coat, noticing that there was already a nametag "Dr. Isley" attached, authored by Harley's remarkably horrible handwriting.

"Yeah, I upgraded the costume a bit before I got here. I wanted it to be more _you_ and less _janky,_ " Harley grinned widely with pride.

Ivy put the costume on and decreased her pheromones, turning from olive-skinned to the same color as Harley. Something about "Doctor" Isley felt... right. There were times when she considered just going incognito as a regular human scientist like this full time, and changing the world as a botanical biochemist from the inside. Alas, humans were stubborn and short-sighted. Cooperating with their so-called "intellectuals" would be fruitless. Weren't many pretty scientists, anyway. Definitely not her scene.

Then again, going to costumed parties at the Iceberg Lounge wasn't really her scene either.

At least, it wasn't before. But when she'd be spending the night dancing with Harley?

That she could manage.

 **CHRISTMAS** **EVE**

Red-and-black-colored Chuck Taylor shoes danced in a hopscotch pattern on a snowy Gotham sidewalk.

"Eenie, meenie, miney... shit! I just br- *burp* broke my mom's back!" Harley jumped away from the line she'd just stepped on in mock horror, before her dilated pupils looked up at Ivy's unamused face. "Kidding. I know it doesn't work." The sides of Ivy's lips curved upwards at the notion that Harley had _tried_ it before.

Harley stumbled forward in a drunken stupor. Alcohol was never really her thing, even after the enhancements that Ivy had given her. "Told ya to take it easy on the bombs, Harls," Ivy reminded her. The evidence was in the deep, smelly stains all over her admittedly adorable Hanukkah sweater.

"I _know._ Usually I don't go that hard. I like the tastier, nicer sodas, usually. But you can't expect me to go to her house and NOT take advantage of all her cool adult-y drinks. Wait. Whose house were we at again?"

"I know, you're usually a kitty cocktail kinda gal."

"KITTY! Right, it was Selina's Christmas Party. That was so much fucking, super fun!" Harley did a couple round-off flip flops with ease, which was effortless for the Olympic level gymnast, despite her current state. Ivy had to agree, it was... surprisingly fun. Even with some of Catwoman's more undesirable friends being there. "I mean, I kinda feel guilty about getting all wasted. Like, Christmas is sorta sacred, y'know? It's one of my favorite holidays! And I feel like if Santa was watching, he'd be so upset with me for getting all bombed. But when kitty passes me some sorta vodka lemonade thing, am I gonna say no? Who wants a girl like that at a party!"

Ivy nodded. "You don't need to explain yourself, hun."

"EXPLAIN myself? What? I wasn't splainin' myself. You make it sound like I'm justifending my actions, like I did something wrong. Obviously, drinkings a bit diffy for _you_ because you're a meta-goddess-babe-human or whateva. Your tolerance level is like this!" Harley raised her hand as high as she possibly could, even jumping upwards to prove her point. "But it also sorta means ya don't get to enjoy the fun," she shrugged.

"You know I could get drunk if I wanted to, right?" Ivy rolled her eyes.

"Totally, Red. I'm just messin'," Harley blew out her cheeks like a puffer fish and started patting them with her gloved hands. "I missed ya Red, ya know that? It's been too long."

"Yeah, it's been literally since _Halloween_ , Harl. You've hardly contacted me," Ivy said, hurt clear in her voice. The eventfulness of the night had almost made Ivy forget that she was mad at Harley for ignoring her for months.

"I'm sorry, Ives. Really. It breaks my heart that we haven't been able to hang out. It's just... Mistah J was really mad when I skipped out on the Hallo-heist to go dancin' with ya," Harley bit her lip, and her hand delicately felt one of her ribs like she was remembering something sore. "He got even more mad after Eddie told him that we were putting on a show in front of the whole Lounge with our moves. Makin' everyone think we were an item."

Ivy's left eye twitched. "Really? They thought that?"

Harley giggled. "The whole freakin' Rogues Gallery thought that. They got a kick out of it. Can't really blame 'em, because of the way we were movin'," Harley's eyes glimmered in the moonlight as her thoughts drifted to that fateful costume party. "That was one of the funnest nights ever, Red, and it was worth it! I'm glad we got to do that... but like I said, Mistah J wasn't happy. He made sure that I knew he wasn't happy." Harley opened her mouth to say something, but paused, as if she was figuring out a way to carefully structure her next words. Wasn't something she did often. "He... he also said I shouldn't hang out with ya anymore, which I _totally_ do not support as a decision! Thankfully, all good romances are built on compromises," Harley intoned with the wisdom of a thousand sages. Ivy wasn't sure if the subject matter had sobered Harley up or if her exorbitant consumption of alcohol had opened up the portion of her brain where she stored the adages from that _Getting the Love You_ _Deserve_ book she always claims to be reading.

"So... why haven't we spoken since?" Ivy questioned softly, not sure if she even wanted to hear the answer.

"Well I didn't _tell_ him that I didn't support his decision. I jus' made a mental note of it." Harley rubbed her arm. "I guess I haven't really had the courage to put my foot down. He's been really angry, recently, I don't know what I did... so I just kept my distance from ya is all. I'm walking on thin ice with him and I have ta be bettah."

Ivy grimaced at her friend's rhetoric. Nothing drove her crazier than listening to Harley feel bad about things she didn't do. "Harley," Ivy grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "Fuck. Him. You aren't doing anything wrong! You deserve so much better than that manipulative, scummy piece of psychotic trash. You're way too good for that."

Harley mustered a half smile and then wrapped Ivy up in a hug. "Awww, Red. Ya really think the world of me, dontcha?" Her eyes got watery and she broke from the embrace. "I know that not everyone understands Mistah Jay, or our relationship, and that's okay. I'm not expectin' ya too. But no one knows him better than I do. He... has his days, but so does everyone," Harley marched forward as Ivy slowed down, angrily mulling over Harley's words. There was no excuse for Harley sticking with him. Ivy was sick of this.

"You're so fucking dense, Harley." Ivy said spitefully, regretting the words immediately after she uttered them.

Harley froze in her tracks. Ivy could see her little shoulders rise and fall like she was taking a deep breath before turning around. "Ya know, Red, I gotta lot on my fucking plate. I'm not really interested in arguing with your unrealistic bullshit holier-than-thou philosophies right now. Keep ya jealousies to yaself." She waved a hand in dismissal before pulling out her phone and beginning to type away.

Ivy felt like the wind had just been knocked out of her. _Did she just say_ jealousies? _Did she... what?!_ "Jealousies?!" Ivy spat out a mean, angry laugh. Somehow it cut deeper than all the mean, angry, condescending laughs that Harley had ever heard in her entire life. "You are _drunk,_ Harley. This is why you shouldn't be trusted with alcohol." Ivy crossed her arms indignantly, trying to steer away from the haunting idea that Harley knew that Ivy was jealous of Joker, that she loved her _that_ way, but still chose the clown anyway.

"Guess what? No. _No_! I am tired of being told that I can't be trusted with ANYTHING!" Harley's voice cracked as she raised it. "You're the one person who is always supposed to comfort me, and now you're gonna minimize me too? Like I'm some good-for-nothing? Fuck you, Ivy," she sniffed, tears starting to stream down her face, ruining her mascara. "And yes, you _are_ jealous. Jealous that you'll never be able to experience true love like me and puddin's. Maybe if you weren't an emotional lockbox someone would love ya like he loves me!"

Ivy's heart stopped racing. Okay, not the "jealous" that she was worried about. But somehow, this version was... worse? Part of her regretted getting Harley upset, seeing her cry gutted Ivy, especially when she was the reason why. She clearly didn't need that right now... but Ivy was tired of keeping all her thoughts about Harley to herself. She was naive and didn't have a clue. She needed some tough love. The real kind. "Please don't try and talk to me about love, Harley. Like you're... like you're some expert. Like you even have a fucking _idea_ what that word means. Love is _conceptually lost_ on you. You've never actually felt it. You've never felt _unconditional love_. Because you're chasing abusers and lowlifes instead of people that actually give a damn about you," Ivy was starting to get emotional herself, eyes stinging from the tears that were forming.

"What are you saying, Red?"

"I'm saying that you wouldn't know what love was if it was right in front of your thick skull."

Harley shivered. She wasn't sure if it was her supposed bestie's cruel words or the weather. Probably both. She wiped her eyes. "Well, I'm glad you could get that off your chest, Pam. Truly. Ranting is usually therapeutic and cathartic," Harley took a shaky breath. "I don't think it applies when the rant boils down to you being a selfish ass, though." A sleek black car pulled up on the road beside them. "There's my ride. I called an Uber when ya started bitchin' at me. You can walk yourself the resta the way home, I'm sure. Should be easy since you're so good at everything." Harley's voice cracked as she broke eye contact and stormed off to her ride.

Ivy wanted to do a thousand things. She wanted to apologize, to take back what she said, tell the uber driver to get lost, convince Harley to come home with her and stay. _Tell her how you_ feel. But all the words of protest died in Ivy's throat. _Coward_. Instead she stood alone, stunned and speechless, as Harley stepped into the Toyota and was driven away, presumably back to her lair.

Back to him. Away from her.

No chance to mend things.

She was just gone.

She might as well have taken Ivy's heart with her.

**FEBRUARY 14th**

Poison Ivy was already having a dreadfully long day.

An important bill regarding the preservation of endangered ecosystems hadn't passed. Her gardening shears were also missing somehow. She went out to buy new ones, and didn't realize she'd forgotten to mute her pheromones to blend in with the normal civilians until it was too late. She probably should've noticed after the first couple human's jaws dropped; unlike her natural beauty and long red hair, her olive-colored skin was a denominator that wasn't exactly common. Her mood was so bad it distracted from the obvious, and the cops came out in full force for whichever nitwits had made the call. Then she spent _hours_ evading the police while also trying not to compromise the location of her safe house.

Ugh.

Pamela massaged her temples, tired and feeling headaches. She pushed the biochemical potion she was concocting aside for a moment, letting her head rest on the laboratory desk. She could really use a detox. She could really use some sleep right now, actually...

One and a half precious minute of rest was enjoyed before the sound of glass breaking shook her awake.

"Oh my god!" Harley nervously tiptoed around the green goo that was oozing out of the bottle that she'd knocked over. "Red, why the heck would you just put that there?!" She pointed animatedly at the mess. "You coulda killed me!"

Ivy was almost too tired to muster an appropriately angry response. " _Harley_." Her eyes narrowed. "You have _one_ rule."

"I know, I know, Ive! Jeez! It's just... wait, what's the rule again?"

 _Deep breaths_ , Pamela reminded herself. "Don't go in the laboratory."

"Right, right... I rememba' now," Harley rubbed the back of her neck. "It was getting pretty lonely in the rest of the house, is all. The quiet was really killing me. Plus I'm curious! You can't just tell me _not_ to go somewhere!" Harley complained. "Also... we haven't gotten to talk much today."

"Sorry, peanut. I've been swamped," she tried her best to keep her stern expression on after noticing that Harley was grinning from ear to ear at her unintentional environmental pun.

"Heh. Swamped."

Ivy groaned. "Well, did you wanna talk about anything, Harl? How's your day been?"

"Ohemgee, Red, you really wouldn't believe it! It's been amazing! This morning I wake up and check Twitter and see on the news that they're making a NEW _Legally Blonde_ movie, which is like holy shit, I love Legally Blonde, Reese Witherspoon could be my little spoon, ilovehersomuch. They had a classic Spongebob marathon that started at like noon, like, the pizza episode? And the rainbow sandwiches one? And the one where they _sing_! And I was watching that a lot, and then, and then, I got free delivery on a Taco Bell GrubHub, and then and then and then..."

Harley's words slowly became background noise as she continued to ramble. Ivy would never tell her to stop her gushing, because she's adorable when she does it and captivating Ivy's attention really makes her day. Ivy leaned back in her chair, mustering a tired half-smile as Harley had begun playing the air guitar for some reason. It was good to see her passionate and energized again. Harley had been staying at Ivy's safe house for about a month and a half now, and she'd returned to her normal, extremely expressive self about two weeks into her stay. It took a while to recover from this round of abuse. Ivy had found her in an alley this time, bruised everywhere and eyes swollen. It was on New Year's, and she remembers her unconscious body being accompanied by a note from the Joker that said something about healthy new years' resolutions. The rage that coursed through her veins that night; it's a miracle the Joker is still alive. Or maybe it's not surprising at all. After spending a couple days nursing Harley back to health, Ivy was all but ready to go kill that clown. But after Harley spent hours begging her to reconsider, of course she wilted and did what would make Harley happy. Harley had promised this time that she would never go back to him, which was a promise that Ivy had heard too often before to get invested another time. She couldn't open up like that again, hopelessly expecting things to change. Expecting Harley to learn, or to open her eyes. The pain was too much. What was the definition of insanity again? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome?

But, to Harley's credit, she'd been living with Ivy for a near month and a half now. That was probably the new record. Not probably, it _was_ the record. Usually she'd have bolted in the night to return to that freak by now. She isn't sure why she still cares so much for this woman who makes her feel so much hurt. Who is too infuriatingly blind to realize that she's got safe, true, real love right in front of her. The 28-year-old blonde starts doing this bizarre cheerleading routine to support whatever she's talking about now, and that pretty much answers Ivy's question. Why would anyone want to hurt someone so pure? Some men just want to watch the world burn, and all that, she supposed. She couldn't act like she was above it, anyway. The image of Harley crying on Christmas fucking Eve because of Ivy's words was pretty much seared into her brain forever. She hated herself for that night. She hated herself for letting Harley slip through her fingers, back into the Joker's arms. She wished that everything could be simpler. That water and sunlight and love was all that Harley would need to stay and be happy. She wished that everything didn't have to be so complicated. If she could just teleport back to Halloween night, when they were the center of everyone's attention and time seemed to move in slow motion.

When everything was perfect.

"... so like, yeah, I was wanting to ask you if you wanted ta... it'd be fun! Right? Are... are you... d'ya wanna maybe do that tonight?" Harley's eyes blinked several times like they do when she's nervous.

Ivy realized she'd tuned out Harley for about five minutes while she was lost in her own thoughts. Of course, she wouldn't be telling her that, because Harley would be heartbroken. Especially since it looked like whatever she just got off her chest had required a ton of courage.

"Uh, yeah! Sounds interesting!"

Harley was sort of stunned, she wasn't sure if it was because of the word choice or because Ivy had actually agreed. " _Really_?! You're the BEST, Pam-a-Lam! I'mma go get my coat and get the car ready! Dress warm!"

Before Ivy even had a chance to respond Harley excitedly cartwheeled out the door. _Oh, great._ Ivy smacked her own forehead. "What the hell did I just sign up for?" The common sense in her was saying to just come clean and say she'd zoned out for most of that conversation. But some feeling was compelling her to just go along with it, for both of their sakes. She went to the greenhouse to grab her north face, and found Harley waiting for her at the front door, wearing her red and black jacket. "Car is ready! Let's go!" Harley grabbed Ivy's hand and speed walked to their car.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Ivy yawned, slumping in the co-pilot seat of their pink Lexus. She really wished Harley wouldn't have stolen a car that was so obnoxious, but they've had it for a week and no one's come to look for it. Shame.

"Jeez, Red, a lil' enthusiasm would be nice? Is it the T-Swift? Because we can do somethin' else," Harley pressed the eject button before Ivy could open her mouth, and the _Red_ CD popped out. Of course.

She switched to the normal radio, and started jumping from station to station. She was never able to just sit and listen to a song all the way through. "Earth to Ivy?"

"I'm sorry, Harls. It's... it's been a long day," Ivy admitted.

Harley's eyes flicked from the road to Ivy's face, and she reached out and gently squeezed Ivy's forearm. "I know, babe. This'll cheer you up though! Promise!" Ivy's heart embarrassingly skipped a beat at Harley's touch. Corporate America and this woman were the only things that could affect her. If only she could know that.

"Yeah, I'm excited... wait, why are we leaving the city?" Ivy noticed that Harley had left the main streets and was headed towards the beach cliffs.

"I, um..." Harley shot a confused look at Ivy. "I have my secret spot? Rememba' what I said earliah?"

"Spot, right, secret..." Ivy muttered, rubbing her eyes. "Yep."

Harley searched Pamela's eyes, and her lips pursed. "You really are exhaustified, huh?" Her eyes flicked back to the road. She was starting to suspect that maybe Ivy wasn't listening to her whole spiel earlier.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Harley parked the car in a niche spot right next to the sandy cliff. "We're here," Harley said softly, taking the keys out of the ignition. She looked over at Pam, who was feeling some remorse about not knowing what the hell was going on.

"You got _no_ clue where we're at, do ya Ive? Or why we're here?" Harley's tone indicated it's a question she was scared to ask, though her eyes were intense.

Ivy's usually confident demeanor evaporated. She tried holding Harley's gaze, only for her head to drop in defeat. "I wasn't list- I missed the explanation, Harls. I'm sorry."

Harley looked at her shoes. The hurt on her face was apparent.

"Harley, I didn't mean to..." Ivy started.

"Nah, it's okay, Ive. I ain't mad atcha or nuthin'. I know I say some boring stuff sometimes." Ivy's face was full of guilt, disappointed in herself for not giving Harley the attention she deserved. Sleepy or not.

"Whelp, let's do this anyway," she took a nervous, shaky breath, before her mouth curved into a smile. Ivy wasn't sure if the smile was genuine or not, because her smile's so natural and gleeful and perfect that it's impossible to ever tell if she's faking it. "Come on!" Harley opened her door and grabbed a bag from the backseat before trotting over to the cliff. Ivy followed, still unsure of everything. She watched Harley jump up onto some little sandy platform and then unfurl the blanket she was apparently carrying, laying it out over the sand. "I gotcha," she turned and offered her hand to Ivy, ready to help her up.

Ivy took Harley's hand. It was so warm and soft, while still being strong enough to lift Ivy up onto the cliff with ease. Ivy sat down next to Harley on the blanket as she set out some bowls of gummies and fruit snacks. "It's a picnic!" Harley half-heartedly stretched her arms out over the very random, very Harley-esque snack spread of apple slices, oranges, and gummy worms. "Surprise? I guess?"

Some light bulb in Ivy's brain went off. She was pretty sure she knew what exactly Harley might have asked back at the safe house. In an instant her drowsiness washed away, like the waves against the sand.

 _No. Get a hold of yourself._ She couldn't get her hopes up. Not again.

_Is this really happening?_

"Harley, this is... adorable. I..." she rubbed the back of her neck. "Why are we at the beach cliffs?"

Harley pursed her lips. "Well, Red, you can't really admire the great beyond in the middle of the city with all the light pollution. I wanted to get away a bit so we maximize our enjoyment of gazing at the moon and stars that populate our night sky," Harley tapped her temple, showing off her 'big brain' energy.

"You're always thinking, Harls."

Harley blushed. "Well, thanks. Kinda disappointed though - I saw on the news that they were calling it a Snow Supermoon. But," she shrugged, unimpressed. "It looks like some ordinary ass full moon."

Ivy covered a laugh. Harley was way too cute for her own good. "Yeah, hun, they just give some of the full moons special names. There's not much to it."

"Ahhh. That makes a tonna sense... Not," they both giggled at that, before laying back and enjoying the sky.

Minutes of serene silence passed.

"Harley?"

"Yeah, Red?" Harley stuffed some gummy worms in her mouth.

"Can I ask a personal question?

"Fronely ifs I could ashkya one firfst." Harley said, continuing to chew on her gummies.

"Go ahead, munchkins."

Harley sat up, and brought her knees into her chest. Ivy sat up as well, rotating to face Harley. She had her full attention.

"That night, on Christmas Eve. Didja really mean all that? Whatcha said about me, like, not knowing what love is. That I couldn't even understand the concept."

Ivy stifled the urge to start tearing up on the spot. She had thought about and regretted those words pretty much every morning and every night since Christmas. But Harley recalling the words with that hurt in her voice... it made Ivy's soul crumble. They'd pretty much pretended like that fight had never happened since the day Ivy found her on New Year's. Until now.

It was time to open up and be honest.

"Of course not, Harls. I was angry, and sad. Maybe a little drunk, too," Harley mockingly gasped, alleviating some of Ivy's stress. "I said some things that I spend every day wishing I hadn't. I didn't mean any of that. I was furious about _him_ so I got all irrational. I've never been more sorry about anything in my entire life. You're more full of love than anyone I've ever met. You became a doctor because you wanted to help people. Hell, even when we're out walking, and you'll freak out because some stranger stepped on an ant hill. You're so full of love. It makes me feel safe, even. I wish I could be more like you," Ivy gushed, meaning every last word.

"You... you really mean that?" Harley's lip quivered and her eyes got wet.

"Harls, you're killing me. I'm gonna start cryin' too. Of course I mean it. C'mere," Ivy crawled over to Harley, enveloping her in a hug. Harley rested her head in the crook of Ivy's neck, failing to stop her damned emotions. "I'm such a sap," she sobbed, squeezing Ivy's back so hard it was starting to hurt. "That's one of your best qualities, lovebug," Ivy patted her head as Harley sniffled away her tears. "Okay, starting to get a bit tight in here."

Harley giggled. "Sorry about that, Red. Ya know I'm a big hugger," she blinked affectionately. "You can totally ask your question now!"

Pamela took a deep breath. Neither of these girls were good at picking up on signals. But she couldn't bear anything to be less than explicit. Not now, not ever again. "Is this supposed to be a date, Harley?"

Harley's eyes seemed to lose some of their spark. She was beginning to think her affection would be rebuffed. "Was that not obvious? I realize you weren't listening back at home, but like... look around. Also, today's a pretty suspicious day for a random picnic, no?" Ivy blinked unknowingly, unsure of what Harley meant. The blonde smacked her forehead. "Oh my god, I'm an idiot! I almost forgot," She reached into her bag and pulled out a heart-shaped case of chocolates and a pot of roses. "Maybe it's good ya weren't listenin' back at home base, because I don't know if ya woulda tagged along if ya heard it was a date... but yeah. Happy Valentine's Day, Red."

Ivy smacked her own forehead. "Today is Valentine's Day?"

"Heh, yeah." Harley scooped up Ivy's hand with her own and rubbed her thumb over the back of it. "You've had a crazylicious day, Red. And holidays this side of Earth Day aren't really your thing, I know. It's okay that you didn't remember."

"Harley, no. It's not okay. Of _course_ I would've joined you if I knew it was a date. I've wanted this for a long time, Harls. I'm so happy this is happening. I never made the move because I didn't know if you were really into... or if you'd ever wanna... _be_ with me, ya know?" Ivy felt like she was malfunctioning. Batman, the police, the other criminals, climate change and corporate America. Easy peasy. Somehow, the one thing to make her forget how words worked was this little bubbly blonde woman. "I'm sorry that I didn't remember Valentine's Day but also... how was I supposed to? We weren't dating? I've been giving you signals... I didn't know if Joker was still..."

"If he was still in the picture?"

"Yes. That."

Harley rolled her eyes. "I'm done with that freak. I told you this," Ivy seemed unconvinced. Not that Harley could blame her, after years spent going back to him. But this time was different. "I'm yours now, Red..." Harley closed the distance between them, her eyes gazing up into Ivy's."... And only yours. You're my world."

"Prove it."

Harley really didn't need the invitation, but it made it all the easier. She closed the last bit of distance, pressing her lips to the redhead's. Ivy was happy to match her energy, kissing the blonde deeply and intimately. Each time they kissed, it was like they were sending a bolt of energy down the other's spine. This was different than any love they'd ever been a part of. They were pouring years' worth of feelings into their exchange, pent-up yearning and longing, things that they wanted to express but never could. It was the happiest moment of both of their lives.

It felt like their lips had been locked for an eternity when they finally and reluctantly parted to catch their breath. "This," Harley said breathlessly, "is fucking amazing." Ivy smiled. "Why are you stopping, then?" Harley ran her hands through Ivy's beautiful red hair. She smelled like Jasmine and looked like a goddess. She _tasted_ like heaven. Most importantly, she made Harley feel special and loved.

She was the most incredible thing that Harley Quinn had ever seen in her crazy fucking life.

"Stopping? Please," Harley taunted, "I was letting you catch your breath. I could do this all night."

"Be careful what you wish for,"

Their lips locked again, and they kissed for an immeasurable amount of time. Harley wasn't sure if 15 minutes or just 15 seconds had passed. It was long and cathartic but also way too damn short. Time moved differently when they shared intimate space.

They eventually stopped, nearly exhausted by their own love and fervor. They opted to instead just rest in each other's arms and admire the sky. Ivy coulda swore she heard Harley sniffling again. "You okay, hun?"

"I'll be fine." She turned into Ivy, cuddling closer, wrapping her arms around her waist like she was attaching herself. "It's just... this whole unconditional love thing is new to me. Thank you for being you. Thank you for putting up with me when I was being a drag and being disappointing. Thank you for believing in me. I love you more than anything."

Ivy cussed in her thoughts. This girl was about to make her cry again, wasn't she? "I love you too, Harley," she said, planting a light kiss on her forehead.

They rested there, soaking in their body chemistry, bathing in the other's warmth. Gotham's February winds would need to try a hell of a lot harder if it wanted them to budge. "You're really lucky I was able to finish _Getting the Love You Deserve_ , Red."

"Why's that?"

"There's a nice little quote near the end about spending the holidays with the people that care aboutcha. I started thinkin' that I was really spending the holidays with _you_ all the time, for bettah or worse. Made me rethink everything."

"You're saying you realized you were in love with me because of some book that a conman skeeze wrote for saps?"

"Hey!" Harley poked Ivy's abdomen to help illustrate her resentment of that statement. "No, that's not what I'm sayin'. I'm sayin' that I realized my love for the holiday festivities was an extension of my love for you. My eyes were opened. The couples that fight and fuck on the holidays last the longest," Harley smiled wisely.

"Fucking on the holidays?" Ivy teased, raising her eyebrows as she pushed a blade of hair back behind Harley's ear. "Am I forgetting something?"

"Just wait till President's Day."

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End file.
